Possibly More of a Diary Entry???

I’ve been trying to write this blog for three whole days now. I have so much to share. I’m not really sure where to begin and it’s highly possible this will be all over the place. First, I have fallen head over heels in love with London. I can’t describe the way this city makes me feel. I don’t fully feel like myself anymore. I can feel myself transforming quickly in all the best ways. I’ve spent every single day waking up and taking on this massive, beautiful, inspiring city of London.

I made friends at my hostel quickly. People from all over the world. I’m a very outgoing person and I like to think I can make friends with anyone, no matter who they are. I’ve gotten a lot of comments about being from America which I totally expected. Don’t worry though, they always follow it up with “no offense”.

We spend so much time hanging out, exploring together, and laughing. It’s been so healing in a way. I was so worried about coming here, not being able to make friends, and getting lonely quickly. My reality is I’ve been with people every moment of every day. Hence why I’ve had no time to write, but I’ve just been trying to live completely in the moment and stay present at all times. I don’t want any experience or opportunity to pass me by. 

The people in England are kind for the most part. They get a little cranky with tourists at times. I haven’t experienced it yet myself, but I’ve watched it happen. London is one of my favorite cities I’ve ever been to. There’s so much to do here and the city is always alive. In a way that makes me feel alive. I’ve visited multiple museums, walked around the most beautiful gardens and parks, met incredible locals, have drank amazing coffee from local cafes, and visited the cutest markets. We went to the King’s Palace at Buckingham Palace two nights ago and the King was inside! We knew this because they raise the flag over the palace when he’s in quarters. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he was up to. Watching Netflix while having wine? Scrolling on Tiktok? Working out? Paperwork? What do kings do in their downtime?

I’ve gotten completely used to the bus and tube system here. I take the tube pretty much everywhere and it’s incredibly easy. Am I a local now??? I like to think so.

The Italian men I’ve met so far greet you and leave you with kisses on the cheeks followed by a hug. Sometimes they even grab your hands for the encounter. I love it. It’s adorable and sweet but I’m an American girl who is not used to that gesture in any capacity, so I stand there awkwardly and just wait. Am I supposed to do it back? Is it rude if I don’t? Do we do it at the same time? What if we accidentally kiss on the lips? I’m not really sure how that’s supposed to go. If you happen to know, let me know. 

The first day I checked into my hostel, as I was waiting to get in my room, I met this man who introduced himself as Victor. He is a local to England- just visiting London. Victor was a whirlwind from the get go. High energy, no boundaries, goofy, but kind. In the first 5 mins of meeting him, he relayed to me that he struggled with autism and severe ADHD. He didn’t have to tell me that. I already knew.

Victor seemed to seek me out anytime I was around. My first evening in London, I was at my hostel in the beer garden outside and Victor found me. He kept telling me how stunning, in a British accent “stooooning” I am. He asked to take me around London and show me the area. He then started talking about how if we ever got married he would want to do it in Italy. Alright guy I just met, thank you for letting me know. 

He would also get less than an inch from my face with his face and tell me the reason for this is due to his bad eye sight. I really hated that. 

The next night, we were in the beer garden again in a group chatting. Somebody mentioned something about their parents and Victor looks over at me, straight faced, wide eyed, serious, and says, “what’s it like?” I said, “hmmm….?” clearly confused. He replies with, “having parents. What’s that like?” I didn’t say anything. I just kept looking at him, waiting for him to say something else to follow. He again, staring at me intensely said, “no really, what’s it like having… parents?” 

Later that night, it was 0100 in the morning. Most of the hostel was sleeping. I woke up to the intense sound of a man screaming angrily. There was some sort of fight going on. It actually lasted quite awhile. In my experience, it sounded like a behavioral emergency that couldn’t be talked down. At that moment I was missing my ability to administer Ketamine. In the morning, I found out it was Victor. The hostel staff had called the police on Victor and he had been arrested. I haven’t seen or heard from him since. Best of luck to you, Victor.

I was out exploring my first day alone down by Big Ben and all of the other typical tourist attractions. This local British man I ran into and I started chatting. He told me he would like to take me on a date and out for a drink that night and told me to meet him under Big Ben at 4pm. I smiled and said, “I’ll see you then”. I never went back. 

Multiple of the local men have stopped me in the street here to compliment me. It’s happened so often that it’s truly starting to get suspicious. I am not sure of the intentions here. 

Two mornings ago, I walked down to a local coffee shop down the street. The barista and I started chatting. I will just chat with anyone and everyone. We had great banter, he made me laugh, he was incredibly handsome. He actually owned the coffee shop/cafe which I really loved. I’ve dreamed of owning a coffee shop for years. At the end of the conversation, he asked to take me on the cutest date- out for a picnic and wine at the highest peak/view of London to watch the sunset together. How romantic, right? I agreed, gave him my WhatsApp number, drank my coffee, and left. He messaged me right away. Telling me to meet him tomorrow at 6pm for the date. I agreed. 

When it came down to the time and day, I didn’t show up. I got nervous. Too many bad things happen all over the world and I don’t know this guy. I really want to try to be open to new experiences with people but it’s hard when you feel like you can’t trust anyone. Am I flighty? Yes, absolutely.

There is this man here who is my hostel mate. He’s originally from France, but is now living in the UK for work. He is a doctor at a local hospital here. We hit it off immediately. He’s goofy, incredibly intelligent, well traveled, and we spend a lot of time bantering and laughing together. Once I knew he was from France, I was immediately intrigued because I’ve been studying French for the last two years. We’ve been practicing French every day and I’ve been SO excited about it. It’s my first time talking in French to someone who’s actually from France. It has made me realize that I have A LOT to learn. 

The last two mornings now, I have woken up with breakfast and coffee in bed. Adorable. We went out to the pub two nights ago and he remembered what I was drinking that I said I liked and while I was napping yesterday evening he walked down to the supermarket to buy some for us when I woke from my nap. So thoughtful and kind. He actually sleeps on the bottom of my bunk in our dorm. Last night, I opened my laptop to work on this blog post. I saw his hand reaching up from the bottom bunk with one side of his wireless headphones as he told me to take it and listen. He was playing romantic love songs in French. We sat and listened to music together for a long time before bed. It’s really nice to know there are men in the world like that. I am just so closed off to dating anyone right now. I’m enjoying my single life and It’s highly likely I will never trust a man again after what I’ve been through, and no one deserves to be dragged into that. He is so kind though and I will miss him when I leave London tomorrow!

I have another hostel mate who came in two days ago. Her name is Sam. She’s American, from Texas. When I tell you we hit it off immediately, it was less than 2 minutes and I knew we were going to be great friends. She’s also a cancer, feels deeply connected to life like me, and is incredibly kind. We have been hanging out nonstop since the moment we met. We are actually leaving for Edinburgh tomorrow for a few days and I’m happy that we get to continue exploring together!

I’ve also been spending a lot of time with Sommer and Brendon from Australia and Jon from California. Brendon is an incredible artist and I’m envious of his creative brain. Sommer is the sweetest girl, an amazing singer, and has great energy. Jon is highly intellectual. He gives me philosopher vibes and thinks deeply about the world. It’s made me think and question life a lot as well.  It’s been really fun learning about different cultures and ways of life.

I miss my family and friends so much every second of every day. I miss working as a paramedic, but I’m so excited to be doing this for me. It is so far everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I’m really tired, walking 30k steps a day, but thriving in the best way.

Anyways, that’s it for now. This post is long enough. Thanks for making it to the end if you’re here. Tomorrow morning I leave early to take a train to Edinburgh, Scotland. I’m so sad to leave London but cannot wait to see Scotland. I’m hoping to find some highland cows I can hug.

Xo, 

Kals