This will be the best but most heartbreaking update I have for you guys so far.

I followed Chris to Bled, Slovenia with a plan to stay for three nights. We arrived and fell in love with the city. It is so beautiful. One of those places where pictures just don’t do it justice. We got to Bled in the evening and were pretty hungry by the time we finished checking into our hostel and getting situated. We really wanted to get another Airbnb but they were all way out of our budget in Bled so we settled for a four bed hostel dorm. We took a little walk around the world’s most adorable town and stumbled upon a barn restaurant. It was beautiful. We chose to sit outside of course like we do every single time.

Chris got steak and I got this fish dish. It’s traditional Slovenian. It came with mashed potatoes and roasted veggies and is still one of my favorite meals I’ve had so far in my travels. After dinner and a couple of beers, we walked back to our hostel and wanted to check out the hostel bar. The place was completely packed. We sat down next to another couple and got to chatting with them. Their names are Matty and Katie and they’re from Belfast, Ireland. Their accents are so fun but so strong that sometimes it’s difficult to understand what they’re saying. Katie works as a nurse in Ireland and we connected immediately. Matty and Chris started talking about sports and became buddies quick as well. After the hostel bar closed at 11 pm, everyone from the bar walked downtown to a bar that was still open. On our walk down there, this man from the UK caught up to Chris and I and we started talking. I don’t even remember what I said but I definitely had some sort of short-lived, “I’m not from Europe” moment and the man looks at me and says, “wow, I can tell you’re American.” Well guess what I can tell? That you’re a man because you’re annoying and out of place. I’ve been bullied for being American so much during my travels its sickening.

I remember my other Irish girlfriends, Leah and Emilie always telling me about a shot called “baby guinness” that I needed to come to Ireland to try. Guess who ordered them at the bar? The Irish, Matty and Katie, that we were with. They are seriously so good you guys have to try them if you ever get the chance. Next thing you know, we’re all 6 shorts of baby Guinness deep. We commingled with the others from the hostel and talked and laughed and had a wonderful night. It was seriously so much fun.

The next day, we decided three nights wasn’t going to be long enough to spend together. We still weren’t ready to say goodbye. Just the thought of goodbye was too much. We ended up extending our stay in Bled an additional two nights, making it five nights total there. There was so much to do there that we wouldn’t have a problem filling our days.

We got up and headed out for the day. We stopped and had breakfast at this place called “The Art Cafe” and it immediately became our favorite spot. We went back there three days in a row because it was so good and fresh. The also make the best coffee that we’ve ever had in our entire lives. I guess I can speak for myself there. After breakfast, we decided to take a walk around the lake. It’s about 6km to complete the whole lake walk and takes a couple of hours. We stopped at a bench where Chris and I started talking about life. He asked me why I left my engagement and the last relationship I was in as well with one of my coworkers. I explained everything to him and how I’d wished I would’ve left both of them sooner and stopped giving people second chances. You can never get your time back and it’s so precious. I hate that I’ve wasted so much time on people who didn’t deserve my love. I can never get that time back. All I can do is learn and continue moving forward.

We stopped at the beach and hung out there for a bit before continuing our journey. There were people everywhere. We got some fun little ice cream. I chose lemon and it had lemon chunks in it as well. It was nice and refreshing on the warm day.

When you get further down the lake, there’s hiking trails everywhere. We took one specifically that leads you all the way to the top for an incredible view of Lake Bled, the castle, and town. It was straight uphill and I’d say a bit of a difficult hike haha. Chris is so cute because during our hikes or while doing anything active, he will stop and ask, “are you alright” or “how’re you feeling” AKA, am I going into SVT again? We love a caring king. He’s so sweet all the time.

Once we made it to the top, it was so worth the climb. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The lake with the mountains in the background was beautiful. We stopped for pictures, I Facetimed my mom so she could see the views live. I love doing that with her. Chris and I then just sat on the rock and enjoyed the views for a long time. He’s seriously so easy to spend time with and doesn’t mind me having to call my mom all the time. We hiked back down and continued onward around the lake.

We really wanted to do the Bled toboggan called “Straza Bled” so we kept walking until we found it. You buy a ticket and ride up on ski lifts to the top of the mountain where you can then ride the toboggan down. It was an incredible experience. 10/10 fun. The views were immaculate. You get to control the speed of your toboggan so I made sure to slow down and enjoy the views. It does go quickly though. We both loved it and were so happy to experience that.

We continued our walk around the lake until we were finished. We found a spot to grab some dinner and were pretty tired from the day but stopped in to our hostel bar for a drink before bed and the “football” AKA soccer game was playing on the screen. It was Manchester United vs Grimsby Town, both from England. I’ve never in my life watched a soccer game but Chris loves soccer and the whole bar was very invested in this game. They were at 2-2 points and kept going penalty for penalty until the score was 11-12. Everyone was saying they’ve never seen anything like that before. It was intense and fun to watch. The bar even stayed open late so we could finish the game. It was a fun experience!

The next morning we got up, had brunch at our favorite breakfast spot, and rented a row boat so we could row around the lake and get to the island in the middle. I was pretty tired because we had a new roommate named Joe from America. We had him for two nights and he was nice but seriously the loudest person in the entire world. What is up with Joe’s from America being the loudest people???

Chris rowed almost the whole way there and back, but I was able to earn my keep for a few short minutes. It’s much harder than it looks. You have to row backwards. We rowed around the lake and made it to the island and explored the island for a bit. We were hoping to find some Bled cream cake there but they didn’t have any! We spent some time just walking around and sitting with our feet in the water. The water is so refreshing and crystal blue!

While we were rowing back to shore, we passed this family with two young children. Chris took one look at them and pointed them out and said to me, “that’s going to be us one day bringing our children to Lake Bled.” My heart literally melted. I enjoy that thought. He is an amazing man. He would make an incredible father someday.

Chris rowed us back to shore and we returned our row boat. We had tickets in the evening to go to the Soteska Vintgar Gorge. The shuttle picked us up at 3:30 for our 4 pm visit. Chris plans and books everything for us and it’s a foreign feeling for me because in every relationship and friendship I’ve ever had, I’ve been the planner. It’s nice just letting go and letting him take care of things. And he likes it. We hiked the whole thing. During our walk, Chris looks over at me and says, “what would you do if I proposed to you in Bled?” I replied with, “you don’t have a ring.” He says, “I will get one.” I say, “I’m high maintenance. You need a ring.” He then laughs and says he can tell and that we could find one together at one of the shops in Bled.

They made every person wear these beautiful, flattering orange helmets if you wanted to do the hike. So no, I did not get any cute insta worthy pics. But the gorge was unreal. It was surrounded by mountains and the waterfalls were stunning. It took us awhile to get through the whole thing and it was pretty busy there.

While I was taking this photo of this waterfall, I turned around and Chris half faked getting down on one knee to propose to me. We are seriously so crazy. After we finished the hike through the waterfalls and the woods, we came across the most adorable outdoor drink spot for authentic Slovenia snacks and drinks to share outdoors. We each enjoyed a couple of pints to reward ourselves for being so active during our trip. My sister Facetimed me with my nephew so we were able to chat. Chris wanted to say hi so I told Ronan to say hello to his new uncle Chris. Ronan (my nephew) yells, “hi uncle!” It actually was so adorable my heart melted. We have my nephew calling this man I’ve known for two weeks uncle. And guess what? I loved it.

He calls me “petal” and “darling” for nicknames which are popular in the UK and the nickname petal is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Chris and I made it back to the beginning and were waiting at the bus stop for our bus to take us back to town. He looks over at me and asks, “do you see a future together?” Tough question. Because yes I do. The whole he lives in England thing and I live in America thing actually breaks my heart. He is adorable. He’s always taking candid photos of me, checking in on me, holding my hand, giving me forehead kisses, and has never for one second made me question things or feel uncared for. We were only supposed to know each other for two days and now it’s been two weeks. We’ve been inseparable and have spent every waking second of every day together. I know it sounds crazy but it’s the reality we’re living in.

We made it back to Bled from the gorge and shared some drinks and dinner. We might have drank a little more wine than we had planned, but we were just living freely, enjoying each other’s company, being spontaneous, and living in the moment.

Lake Bled is the kind of place that feels too magical to be real-castle on a cliff, a tiny island in the middle of the lake, and mountains wrapping around it all. By day we hiked, swam, and soaked up every bit of turquoise water and sunshine. But it was this one night that really stayed with me. This night after dinner, we walked back down around the lake and found ourselves lying together alone under a sky full of stars, in the dark, overlooking the lake, having one of those ‘this can’t be real life’ moments. Let’s just say Lake Bled’s romantic reputation lived up to the hype-and no, I won’t be giving you the full story, but I can confirm the stargazing was unforgettable.

The next morning, we woke up, had some brunch, visited a laundromat and did our laundry together, then got ready to set out to go canyoning! I’ve been dreaming of canyoning for awhile now. I really wanted to go on my last couple of international trips but it never worked out. The shuttle picked us up and we were paired with this wonderful family from Slovakia. They were so nice. It was a mom and her two children. We spent the day rappelling down the canyons, jumping off cliffs, swimming in ice cold water, and climbing.

It was everything I wanted. The water was so cold that the first jump took my breath away. We jumped up to 8 meters off the canyons (almost 27 feet). At the end, there was a bridge that we walked back across and we jumped off that as well! The experience was terrifying but it made me feel completely and utterly alive. I was in Slovenia jumping into canyons and rappelling. What was my life? Chris was again always asking that I was feeling alright with my heart. I appreciate how much he cares always. Our tour guide was incredible and a local to Slovenia. He was so much fun and I’m happy he was our guide.

The mom to the son and daughter was too nervous to jump higher than the 3 meter jump so she got rappelled and slid down each time after the first one. I told her she was still so brave for even going in the first place and trying to do this with her children!

Our tour guide recommended this nice restaurant to us that served local Slovenian food so we knew we had to try it. We both got the same dish which we did often. This was a venison dish was cheese dumplings and a pear with gravy that had some sort of raspberry glaze on it. I can’t even describe the way all of these flavors come together perfectly. I think it’s my favorite thing I’ve eaten on my whole trip so far!

The next morning we decided to have a lazy day as it was going to be raining most of the day. We had a slow morning and then went out for lunch. Chris is a huge Chelsea football fan and a game just so happened to be playing soon so we found a sports bar, requested the game, and watched it. It’s actually pretty fun watching soccer. I made him promise me that he will watch a Packers football game with me sometime since I watched his favorite team with him and he agreed.

We just spent our last day together exploring town and talking. We’ve shared so many stories about America and England and what’s taboo in each country. I’ve shared a lot of American norms and vice versa. It’s been really fun learning so much about another country. I even showed him the Yuka app for every item of food I eat back home and he couldn’t believe all of the chemicals and additives that are put in our food. I also showed him the things I was scanning in the UK and not a single harmful chemical was in any of it. Must be nice.

It turned dark and we decided we really wanted to swim in Lake Bled even though it was night time already. We stopped for one last piece of bled cake at a cute little fancy restaurant along the lake where they were playing live violin and piano. Afterwards, we made the trek down the train where we found a spot to go in. It was so dark we couldn’t see anything but we made our way down the hill and into the lake to swim. It wasn’t even as cold as I thought it was going to be. It was surreal swimming in the lake with the castle lit up in the night.

We were both sad about the goodbye that we were both in for the next morning. We had a couple of drinks in us and had a small argument where I was on my best brat behavior as I do sometimes and I let him walk forward as I stayed back.

He kept walking, so I eventually walked forward again. We got into a little argument after he said he doesn’t want to play games with me. Of course I replied, “I’m not playing games.” I then asked him to meet me halfway. We got to our room after a little bit of silence and decided we were still going out for dinner. Apologizes were exchanged of course and we decided that we were both just so on edge about our goodbye that was getting closer that we were feeling stressed. We didn’t want to take it out on each other, though. On our walk to dinner, I asked if we were done now. He stopped, looked at me and said, “why would you ask me that?” I replied with, “because- we got into a fight.” He said, “yes Kali we had a small blip and disagreement, but why would that mean things are ending or I feel any differently about you? Just because you argue in a relationship doesn’t mean things will end.”

That man is healing something in me every day. I explained that the American dating culture is so toxic and everyone is ready to get up and go as soon as one thing goes wrong. It doesn’t even matter that we had a small disagreement. It made us closer and made my feelings stronger.

At dinner that night, we ran into the family that we went canyoning with and it was so nice to see them and chat again before we left! We grabbed our food to go and brought it back to our room. We had gotten lucky for the last two nights and didn’t have any roommates in our room with us. So we sprawled a blanket on the floor, set up my laptop, and continued watching a show that we had from the night before.

My mom actually treated us to dinner that night so thank you mom. 🙂

We crawled into bed after saying goodnight and I was heartbroken. I crawled back down to his bottom bunk and immediately started crying in his arms while he held me tight and played with my hair to calm me. He was being so strong for the both of us and reminded me of why I took this trip in the first place. He was repeating all of the places I was going next and all the people I was seeing soon from home. I love that he remembers every little detail. He was reassuring me that he will see me soon when I return back to England. I spent a long time down there and he fell asleep.

We woke the next morning after an awful night of sleep. We were heartbroken. Chris could’ve easily taken the bus straight to Ljubljana but he wanted to make sure I made it to the train station and got on the correct train so he rode the bus to the station with me which I was grateful for the help and to have more time together. He wasn’t able to extend his travel more. He has to get back for the Army sadly.

We grabbed a couple items from the bakery nearby and waited for our trains. Chris’ train was leaving a little before mine. It arrived and it was the worst moment. We squeezed each other hard and said goodbye. I had to watch him walk away with his backpack and get on that train. My heart actually broke. I cried. I cried on the train. And now I’m crying again while reliving it. That was one of the toughest goodbyes I’ve had in years.

My train finally arrived as well and I made my journey onward. I was heading to Vienna, Austria and had two trains to take to get here. It took me about 6.5 hours but I made it. Chris was tracking my trains from his phone to make sure I was getting everywhere correctly and safely and that was really cute.

I still have quite a bit of anxiety when getting on any buses or trains after my SVT episode. I have to talk myself down a lot and keep myself distracted. I’ve also had nightmares the last two nights about returning home early and having to leave Europe.

I’ve been heartbroken since my goodbye with Chris. Like the kind of heartbroken where you feel sad, you don’t want to talk to anyone, your stomach hurts, and you just want to see them again to ease the pain. We’ve been talking nonstop but it’s not the same. Checking into my new hostel and room wasn’t the same. Going out for dinner with a glass of wine tonight wasn’t the same. I’m missing my partner in crime and the man who let me feel safe.

My mom and Chris have also talked a few times now and it’s pretty adorable. He also got to Facetime my best friend, Olivia, with me the other morning! Of course there was lots of banter about England vs America.

I’m logging off soon. It’s almost midnight here now in Vienna. I’m hoping I wake up and feel less sad tomorrow. I am excited to see Vienna and explore.

Chris I know you’re reading this so until next time. I will hopefully see you in England in a few months and I miss you.

And as always, I’m missing everyone from back home at all times. I’m still so grateful for and excited about this personal journey I am on.

Chat soon.

xo,

Kals