I arrived in Munich after a 6.5 hour train ride and I was exhausted. And starving. But too exhausted to force myself to stand up again after I had already made it to my new hostel room and sat down. Immediately one of my hostel mates started to chat with me. His name was Mckenzie and is from Australia. I have a love/hate relationship with the social aspect of hostels. They’re a wonderful way to meet people while traveling but you never have alone time. Ever. Even when you’re so tired you can barely stay awake. You will have hostel mates waiting to talk to you.

Mckenzie has been traveling for three months already and is heading to Vienna next. He invited me to go somewhere for dinner and then for karaoke at our hostel bar but I let him know I was too tired and needed to try to rest for a bit. I then forced myself to lift my body, unpack again, and venture out to find some food. I stumbled upon a local and authentic Turkish restaurant. I had a kebab, salad, and pita with hummus. I don’t think I’ve had a bad meal yet since being in Europe and I’ve really been good about branching out and trying new things.

I returned to my hostel, got ready for bed, and tried to work on my blog for a bit. Then another hostel mate came in and started to chat. He’s from northern Norway and was immediately expressive about the way he feels about America as soon as he asked where I was from. Great. I was too tired to hear this spiel again. He then proceeded to go off about how we need a massive nuclear war to basically kill everyone off so we can start from scratch. He told me he wants to murder all fascists and they all need to die. He was staring at me with eyes that made me wonder if he was going to kill me in my sleep. It was the first time I was concerned for my safety in a hostel dorm. He said that the toxicity in American politics is affecting the rest of the world and making everyone else fascists, just like us. He said that my own country and other countries want me dead as well, because no matter what I’m technically an immigrant and everyone everywhere wants immigrants dead. He then told me that the current people in office want me dead as well because I’m a woman. I literally asked, “do you not think I know what it’s like as a woman living in America currently?” Bold of him to talk to me about what it’s like living in my own country. He then told me I should keep myself informed because it’s common sense and it means you’re stupid if you don’t. Nice. I wasn’t going to continue discussing this with a Norwegian man. I told him I had to go to sleep and that was that.

The next morning I woke up and was SO excited to explore Munich. I’m mainly German and my last name is German. So I have a special interest in Germany. I walk out of my hostel, put my headphones in, and start on my journey down to Marienplatz. I found a cute little local coffee shop and grabbed a coffee from there. It’s tradition to have a pretzel with your coffee for breakfast in Germany and I was tempted, but I’ve really been trying to watch what I’m eating as much as I can. It’s difficult to balance making good choices while simultaneously trying all the local dishes. I walked through the entire Old Town. It was beautiful and alive. I stopped at Marienplatz as I wanted to watch the clock go off at 11 am. They do it every single morning at this time and it lasted about ten minutes. It was so fun. I got there early so I was able to get a good spot to watch. Everyone comes together to watch. The clock starts going off right at 1100. After ringing for awhile, the carousel on the second level spins around and dances for a long time, and then the third goes. I’ve never seen something like that. I had to Facetime my mom to show her even though it was only 4 am back home. It’s one of my favorite things about my travels- just Facetiming my mom so she can watch everything live with me. I told her I was going to take her all around Europe with me. What better way than to be able to experience it than together.

I continued on my journey. I walked. I explored. For the entire day. I popped in and out of churches, museums, and cathedrals.

I found a church that was having a Sunday service at noon. It was a Catholic church, but that was okay. I walked in and was immediately amazed by the church. It was magnificent. Beautiful architecture. It was jaw dropping. I wonder how long that took them to build. I took a seat, which after I realized I did it wrong. You have to kneel and bow before you sit down. I didn’t know and no one said anything. I grabbed a German bible and I sat through the hour long service. I didn’t understand a single word of the entire service, but it was emotional, powerful, and inspiring for me to be there. We knelt twice to pray and I cried both times. I was and am so thankful to still be here after my near death experience in Italy. The service was a great reminder about human connection and how precious life is. I felt pretty emotionally drained after the service, but in the best way.

After the church service, I stopped at a little local authentic German restaurant. I waited to be seated. The man who came to grab me brought me over and demanded, “wait here”. I did as I was told. A waitress passed me with a couple beers in her hands and I moved over, saying, “sorry”. She dropped the beers off and walked back towards me. She grabbed me by my arms and physically pushed me away. If that was to happen in America, she would lose her job so fast it wouldn’t even be funny for her. Let’s just push the tourists around. I got seated and guess who was my waitress? Miss Pushy. I was scared that she was going to do something bad to my food. She treated me kindly after that so I don’t really know what’s wrong with the Germans. They’re very abrasive and blunt people. I had an authentic German meal which consisted of pork, dumplings, and cabbage. It was very interesting to try. I also tried my first German beer and it was really good. I left the scary waitress a tip and left.

I explored more churches, parks, and kept walking. I stopped to check out Hofbrauhaus, a local beer hall that seemed to be the most popular in all of Munich. It was insane there, completely packed with everyone drinking beer out of massive steins. I didn’t stop for one just because of how overwhelming it was. I walked until I found the Augstine beer hall. Much better. It was getting dark by the time. I found a spot outside after using self service and read my Kindle there for a couple of hours. It was one of the best beers I’ve ever had in my life. I walked back to my hostel and went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and walked down to the local market, Viktualienmarkt. It was a big market. So many adorable vendors. I didn’t get anything other than a coffee because I seriously cannot fit anything else in my bag. I kept walking and exploring the places I didn’t the day before. Chris Facetimed me while I was walking and was telling me about how day and how he had just gotten back home from an estate sale for estate that was going up in his area. I am so proud of him. I also cannot imagine settling down and buying a home. But I think it’s a green flag for him and I’m so happy for him. Why does it feel like he’s adulting more than me. I have left everything I’ve ever known and is familiar to me to travel at the age of 31. When I compare myself to other people my age, I am nothing like them. At the same time, nothing else has ever felt more right than what I’m doing now and I’ve never been happier.

I walked back to my hostel to drop some of my things off and met a new hostel mate. His name is Harry and he’s from the UK- specifically England. We hit it off right away and he asked me to go for lunch and to hangout. I said a needed to rest for 30 minutes but I’d come meet up with him when I was up. After a quick nap, I met up with Harry downtown and we walked a long to the garden park. I promised myself I wasn’t going to entertain any food chains we have in America but I was having FOMO from everyone in America posting their pumpkin drinks from Starbucks, so I finally gave in when I passed a Starbucks that had a pumpkin spice latte. I ordered it and Harry laughs and says, “wow, you are American.” Yes, me and my pumpkin lattes forever. That’s fair. It tasted absolutely nothing like it does back home, though. That will be the last time I try to find something pumpkin flavor while I’m in Europe I think.

We continue and finally reach the park. It’s one of the biggest parks I’ve ever seen and goes on forever. There’s a small river that runs through it and it’s absolutely stunning and well maintained. There are multiple spots where the locals are surfing. Yes, surfing on the river in the middle of the city in Germany. It was a crazy thing to witness. I would have totally loved to try that if I was able, but I get the feeling it’s not really a tourist thing to do.

We walked for miles and talked. It was fun getting to know Harry. He worked as a personal care assistant for a 19 year old patient with MS. He was an only child and has been all around the world. His parents had him late in life, when they were both 38. They’re big travelers and started taking him around the world with them at the age of 3. That’s the kind of parent I want to be.

We found a biergarden in the park somewhere and stopped for share a pretzel and have a local beer and chat. We then started to walk back and found some dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. We sat outside. The food was immaculate. They had children working there, ages maybe 6 and 10. It’s cool they’re teaching their children early about hard work and responsibility. Harry and I had a lot of surprising chats. I’m an open book and I also ask a lot of personal, in depth questions. Harry surprised me because he was incredibly open as well, emotional, and vulnerable. He was very emotionally intelligent and we got into some really deep conversations that I’m not able to do with everyone, especially with someone I’ve just met because they don’t typically have that capability. He asked about my family life and asked me how difficult it was for me when my parents were going through a divorce at a young age. I mean seriously, he asked me so many in depth questions. It was nice to be able to emotionally connect with someone like that and get to know them on such a personal level.

We walked back after dinner and I had to pack for my train this morning. We said goodnight and went to bed. I woke up this morning and Harry, Mckenzie, and I hugged and shared our goodbyes. The goodbyes never get easier. You connect with these people instantaneously during your travels, become close quickly, and then have to say goodbye, knowing there’s a 99% chance you’ll never see them again.

I woke up this morning so excited, I could barely sleep. My best friends from America are meeting me in Cologne, Germany today. Olivia, Kaden, Chloe, and Roger. I cannot wait to see them and have a little piece of home with me again.

I’ve been really struggling the last week about where to take my life from here. I don’t know what I want anymore or where I want to be. I’m hoping to gain some clarity in the following months. The thought of returning back home to Eau Claire and everything that contains my past there feels suffocating. I know I will not be the same person when I return home, and it scares me that everything else has stayed stagnant. I will do my best to figure everything out.

Chat soon,

xo,

Kals