I sit here on the bus and write this with tears strolling down my face. I am yet again experiencing heartbreak. No one can ever prepare you for the sadness that comes with this kind of solo travel. Not even yourself. Let’s start from the beginning.

After landing late at the airport in Budapest, I take a bus for 7 euros and make it to my hostel at 11 pm.

I needed to laundry SO bad. I ran out of underwear days ago and had ocean water and sand on everything. I had to suck it up and do it that night even though i was so tired and it was the last thing i wanted to do.

I call my mom and FaceTime her on the terrace while i wait for my laundry to be done. It finishes around 2 am. The dryer sadly turned all my white clothes pink.

I was in another 8 bed dorm. I will admit it was a very nice hostel. And only for $18 a night. What a steal. It was 2:30 AM now and my body was SO tired but I couldn’t sleep because a very large man in the top bunk directly next to me was snoring the loudest snore I have ever heard in my life. It went on for hours. I tried my earplugs and it didn’t seem to block it out at all. I tried my AirPods and had to play white box fan noises on loud the whole night to be able to sleep. It was so awful and I was extremely tired so I got upset with him. I was going to wake him up to turn him on his side but that didn’t help him either. I heard the girl under my bunk say, “what the fuck” about his snoring. None of us could sleep. It was truly awful. If you know you snore that severe, you should be considerate enough to pay for a private room.

I wake up the next morning very tired and honestly crabby after the sleep I had. The man who was snoring all night had the audacity to smile at me in the morning and say, “good morning” all chipper-like. Yeah, it must’ve been a good morning for him after getting the deepest sleep possible all night long. I try to remind myself to be kind and that he doesn’t know how awful he was all night so I smile back and return the good morning.

I met my new bunk mate last night. Her name is Odaia and she’s from Israel. We chatted quite a bit in the morning. She’s been in Hungary for the last three months and is planning on going to Uganda next because it’s a non touristy place. She’s not for sure though because she’s worried about safety risks. Honestly, i don’t blame her. It’s easy to worry about safety risks as a woman in any country, really.

I set out for the day. I only had one full day in Budapest and I was going to make it count, no matter how tired I was. Budapest was never in my plan but it just worked out flight-wise to have a stop there before Croatia.

First: coffee. Thanks to my roommate.

I found an adorable coffee shop and took my coffee to go which I try to never do in Europe but I only had a limited amount of time to see the city.

I walked to the parliament building. It was stunning. I then took a stroll over to the “shoes on the Danube” where it represents the Jewish victims who were executed in WWII by fascist Aaron Cross. It was really heartbreaking.

I crossed the chain bridge to the “Buda” side of town. Budapest is split by the Danube River not two separate parts. One is Buda and one is Pest. The separation signifies a contrast between different topographies, socioeconomic classes, and historical rules. They grew independently until their official unification in 1873.

The Buda side is incredibly steep and hilly compared to the Pest side. The whole city is beautiful. I walk and walk and walk. I walk up to the castles and then I take a stroll down to an authentic Hungarian lunch spot I found online. There was a line out the door when I arrived.

I finally got in and inside the restaurant were multiple large family sized tables on two different levels. It’s very small on the inside. You are seated on a table with other people which I think is interesting but it’s very “family” style and it encourages socializing. I take my spot with all the strangers and order an authentic pork dish. It was incredible.

I then catch a bus to the thermal baths. Budapest is known for them. You come in, have to change into your swim suit right away, and then take a shower. It shows you in each shower that you must wash all private parts and your feet before proceeding to the baths. You must also wear shoes in between each one. I get into the baths and that’s exactly what they are. Multi massive, room sized baths that look like pools. All are different temperatures and everyone is just sitting in the bath together. They also had hot tubs, a cold plunge (which I did and thought I’d die of hypothermia), saunas, and outdoor baths and a lap pool. It was heavenly and so relaxing, i can’t describe it. I almost fell asleep in two of the different baths and they give you a weird feeling of euphoria. They don’t use chlorine in the pools but I think maybe there is Xanax infused into the water. It was a really cool experience and I’m happy I did it.

I make it back to my hostel, talk to Odaia for a bit and then I have to take a nap. I couldn’t go on any longer. I sleep for an hour and then take the train back to the Buda side of the Danube so I can see the Parliament building and city lit up at night from across the river. It was breathtaking. It was lit up in golden lights and genuinely stunning.

I was standing there gawking and minding my own business when I man walked up to me, introduced himself as Stephen. He asked me all the typical “get to know you” questions and then asked me to go for a drink nearby. I politely declined and said I was too tired and wanted to go sleep soon. He then asked me for my social media and I told him i didn’t have social media. I don’t mean to lie and he was nice enough and I respect his bravery but I just wanted to enjoy the city myself. Like i’ve said, I’m not interested in getting to know someone on a romantic level. Ever again.

I take a train back to my hostel and as I’m about to walk through the doors, a man and his friend stop me. He introduces himself as Mark, tells me I’m beautiful and that he’d like to buy me a drink. I tell him I have a fight to catch in the morning, but thanks anyway. He asks for my WhatsApp and I give it to him.

I finally get back to my dorm and hangout with Odaia and our other roommate, Desha. Desha is from India, but she’s been living and studying in Berlin, Germany for the last few years.

Desha was traveling with two friends, one of them happened to be the man who snores so loud all night. We laughed about how awful he is to share a room with because of the snoring. This is Desha’s first trip with these friends and she regrets going with them because although they’re close and get along great back home, they are not compatible traveling in any capacity. Desha wants to get out and explore and her friends would rather sit back and chill. I tell her I relate to her as this happened to me recently. Just because someone is a good friend, does not mean they are a good travel companion. Something I’ve had to learn myself.

Us three girls sat on the floor and talked for hours- until 1 in the morning! We talked about what it was like for each of us growing up in each country. Things got raw and deep and emotional. They shared how often they’ve faced racism in their lives. Odaia just had an experience during her time in Budapest where a girl was calling her a terrorist because she’s from Israel. Desha was sharing how she faces racism often in Germany. People tell her that Indians stink and only eat spicy food. It’s hurtful. She said she notices all the little ways people treat her differently for being a brown skinned person. She gave an example of how at the grocery store she watches the interactions with the store clerk checking the customers out and how she has positive interactions with chatting and smile with all the white customers but as soon as Desha gets up to her turn it’s completely different. No smiling or talking. Desha says she notices these things often.

Their stories broke my heart but more importantly, they made me reflect on myself. Do I unintentionally treat strangers who aren’t like me differently? I know I would never, ever treat someone of a different skin color on purpose. But if I see an Indian man back home, do I smile less than normal? To be fair, I don’t smile at any men but you get my point.

I really want to be more intentional with my interactions with strangers from now on. I don’t ever want to to treat anyone differently because of their skin color. This is why I love travel. It gives you new perspectives. It makes you a better person. I absolutely love connecting with other people around the world who are very different than me and who have had a different life than me.

We shared our goodbyes because I had an early flight. I was sad of course. The girls and I got to know each other quickly and deeply and now we had to say goodbye.

I do my best to sleep that night but got 4 hours once again due to the snoring.

I wake up, eat breakfast at the hostel, check out, and then catch the bus to make my flight.

I land in Zadar, Croatia and immediately take an Uber to one of the sports stores so I can buy some new hiking poles. I have some at home but they were way too heavy duty to bring on the trip. I find some at a Dethaclon and head to the bus station where I take the bus to Split and then one to Omis. It was a 12 hour travel day and I was exhausted.

I make it to my hostel in Omis. There is only one that exists there as Omis is very small and quite off the beaten path. I didn’t want to go to Split because everyone goes to Split and honestly I just don’t want to be in the city. I love being surrounded by nature.

I can’t describe the Omis in a way that even comes close to the true experience. It is surrounded by massive, breathtaking mountains and crystal clear water with stone beaches. The town itself is small and beautiful.

Our hostel host is Josephina. She is from Argentina originally but has been in Omis the last 6 years. She has the hostel open for 6 months of the year and travels for the other 6 months. She is one of my favorite people I’ve ever met. I really learn to love her and get to know her over the next couple days. She’s a wonderful and helpful host.

I spend some time on the rooftop terrace with my new roommates, Zoe from Australia and Rick from the US. Rick is from Iowa which we bond over because that’s where my dad’s side of the family is from. Zoe has been traveling for 3 months and Rick has been traveling since for 4. They’re both going home in October, just like me.

I am exhausted so I go to sleep early and get a real, full night of rest.

I wake up early with intent to tackle the mountain hike right away in the morning. I get lost on my way there and one of the locals stops me and asks if I was going to hike the mountain. I say yes and he tells me not to go as it’s very dangerous there right now. They had forest fires very recently in Omis. They have them every year but this was the worst one in the history. The mountain was very unsafe with unstable terrain, loose and falling rocks, down power lines and trees. The police had it blocked off. He said he runs there every morning and hasn’t been able to since the fire. I feel lucky that we crossed paths and he told me. I feel like I am always being protected.

I was sad about the hike but safety always come first. I rent a kayak instead and do a 10 mile kayak journey on the river through the mountains. It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever kayaked. It was so peaceful to there. It was quiet. The water was crystal clear and the surrounding mountains and scenery was stunning.

After kayaking, I explore town and then go grocery shopping for some food for my hostel. It’s dinner by the time I get done with this so I set out to find a fun dinner. I got a whole white bass with veggies and wine. It was delicious. I had been craving grilled fish since Portugal. Thanks for dinner, mom 🙂

I was meeting Lukas and Zoe at the beach after. I swung by the grocery store to grab a couple ciders and then went to the beach. We all share a room together. Lukas is from Poland and does not speak a lot of English but it doesn’t matter. He’s very handsome. We talk for hours on the beach then Zoe and I go for a night swim and one of my favorite moments happened.

Zoe and I were the only ones swimming in the ocean in the dark when a lady in her 60s came to join us. She introduced her name as Sharon and said she had been wanting to swim also but didn’t want to go alone so she followed us in. Sharon turned out to be very inspiring. She was in her 60s, from New Zealand, and left her job because she didn’t feel appreciated anymore. Now she was traveling around Europe solo for the next three months! I was so proud of her. She said she hasn’t been to Europe in over 30 years. Her brother lives in Scotland and has 16 year old twins who she’s never met. She will be meeting her nephews for the first time ever. She said how you can’t wait for the right time in life to do these things, you just have to take the chance and go now. No one is ever promised tomorrow.

I love Sharon and she really inspired me. Zoe, Lukas and I really connected on the beach and got to know each other. They were both amazing people. Zoe lit up the room with her positive energy and smile. Lukas was sweet, handsome, and funny. A lot of communicating with people who can’t speak your language is through charades so I feel like we played a lot. Actually, I feel like I spend a lot of my travels playing charades.

I could tell that Lukas and I had a spark and were hitting it off. I just feel like such a closed off person. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s as if I will never be able to live my life again if I grow a romantic connection.

We get back and sleep. The next morning, Lukas and I wake up and get ready as we were going on a trip together. White water rating down the river! We say gooodbye to Zoe which was devastating. I gave her a big hug. she said, “I am so happy to meet you. You have a wonderful heart. When you come to Australia, please come see me,” and I will. I’d love to see Zoe again. Another difficult goodbye.

We meet the guide at the pickup point and take the half hour drive to the start. Lukas and I spend all our time joking and laughing together. He gives me deep belly laughs and I feel like that’s really rare for me. What’s even crazier is that we don’t speak a lot of the same language but are still able to communicate and laugh the way we do. We joke about how we will get stranded out there and have to survive off the water from the waterfall and set up camp. He is funny.

Our raft has 8 travelers and one guide. Our guide’s name is Heime and it’s from Chile. He’s been rafting all over the world for the last 27 years. We have people from Italy, France, and Norway on our raft.

We paddle down the river, we do cliff jumping which was scary but exhilarating, and we swim through a waterfall that was SO cold it took the breath out of me. Lukas was a good adventure partner and he was fun. The scenery around us is beautiful. I watch Lukas a lot during the trip. Every time I look over, he has the cheekiest smile and he’s laughing. He always looks back at me and smiles big. I take in the moment the best I can.

We raft for almost 8 miles and then head back to our hostel. I take a 2 hour nap and then get up and go to the beach for a few hours and swim. I bought some goggles earlier in the trip so I just play mermaids by myself and swim for a long time looking at all the fish.

I go back to my hostel and have dinner on the terrace. I was trying to figure out where to go the next day as I had no idea because my plan was Bosnia but a few of the cities were having active forest fires that were spreading quickly due to the wind.

While on the terrace, my new roommates, Ishvan comes up to chat. He’s from Hungary and really can’t speak much English. We talked for a very long time getting to know each other. Is is amazing and tells me about his past ravels and his life back home and his family. He’s very sweet. We have to use google translate and play charades to communicate but it was really special connecting with him and getting to know him.

The best morning, Ishvan wakes me up early to say goodbye. He just stands there and holds my hand for a little bit without saying anything. He didn’t need words. I knew exactly what he was trying to say. The goodbye was hard.

I then got up and packed my bags as I was leaving. I checked the fires in Bosnia and there were still some active ones but much better than yesterday. So I booked a 10 am bus. I said goodbye to Lukas which broke my heart. He wanted me to stay another day and go to the islands with him but I just had to go. We hugged and then he kissed me before he walked out. It was a sad kiss. It was a kiss that said, “if only we had more time.”

I went upstairs and chatted with Josesphina on the terrace until it was time to catch my bus. I was sad to say goodbye to her also. We became like family in that little hostel and we spent a lot of time together. Yesterday she just got offered her dream job in Patagonia working at a reception for al the hikers. She’ll also be closer to family too then which I’m very happy for her for.

I put my bags on and walked out the door. I said goodbye to my new roommate, Adam, from Belgium. He seemed really nice. It was difficult for me to walk out that door. I knew I was leaving behind strong connections and a beautiful place.

I was also worried about what Bosnia would bring due to the wildfires. I walked to what I thought was the bus station, and it was no where to be seen. It kept saying I was there and the bus station but all I could find was a super market. I was so stressed because my bus was leaving soon. I tried to ask multiple locals where to go but no one spoke English and they’d get uncomfortable and walk away when I’d approach asking for help. I called Josephina for help. She calmed me down and helped me know where to go. I sent her a photo of my location and she confirmed it was the correct place. I’m so thankful for her. A local also came to help me. I showed him my phone as he couldn’t speak English either and he pointed me in the right direction.

My bus arrived 15-20 mins late anyway. I felt much better. I had a 5 hour ride to Bosnia which went smoothly for the most park. We had a stall at border control and spent a long time trying to get through there. After we got through an few miles down the road, a man comes up and collects all of our passports. For what? I have no idea. The bus driver pulls over at an abandoned lot and I get nervous. Is this where we all die? Awhile later we get our passports back and continue on the journey. All clear.

We arrive to Mostar in Bosnia and I make it to my new hostel. The owner’s name is Tiffani and she’s spent her entire life in Bosnia. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She sits me down when I arrive, pours me some juice, and we talk about life for at least an hour. She only eve had one son so she sees all her hostel travelers as her children and will care for them as so. She tells me to let her know if i need anything and gives mea. Great big hug. That hug felt really nice and made me feel a little more like I was home. I needed that.

I got settled in and explored Old Town, had a couple beers, and then had an authentic Bosnian dinner. The waiter was the sweetest thing. He was probably in his mid to late 80s, a tiny Bosnian man and he made my heart happy. He didn’t speak English but we laughed a lot together. This country is very affordable. My whole dinner which was an entree (Bosnian goulash), a glass of wine, Baklava, and a bottle of water only cost me 10 euros (about 12 USD). I gave him a big tip after he pulled out his wallet for change and it was so torn it was falling apart at every seam. I felt bad for him and loved him at the same time. This place is teaching me how to slow dow. Life is not meant to be rushed.

I’m all tucked in for the night and excited to sleep. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Chat soon,

Xo,

Kals